Since I'm at it, I might as well offer some counselling tips for the benefit of everyone reading this...
People in real pain want to tell others HOW THEY FEEL, so if ever you are talking to someone in pain, whether physical or emotional, just do this one thing....
1) SHUT UP AND LISTEN!
then ask only ONE question...
2) HOW DO YOU FEEL?
If the person does not want to tell you anything, he's not ready to talk so you should not even start your long speech... But you can try to EMPATHISE with him by reflecting his feelings CORRECTLY...
3) You must be feeling irritated, angry, frustrated etc...
Once you identify his feelings correctly, he will be more likely open up to you because he thinks you can understand.... but don't ruin all this rapport you have built by giving advice...
4) GIVING ADVICE? DON'T DO IT! PERIOD.
At best you irritate the guy by forcing him to do things when he's not ready... At worst, your advice turns out to be wrong and you made things worse! Because we're individuals, what works for you may not work for others...
Ok, enough for now... Cannot teach you all everything lah... I 'tan jia' (make money) one leh, pay hundreds of dollars to learn this, now teach you all free leh... Haha...
Anyway, don't believe me? Ask any husband whose wife have given birth before...
P.S. No gender discrimination here, the use of 'he' is generic...
Uncle Ho
